This is something that still gets me to this day, and I know I am not alone when I say I get it as I know a few other mums do.. but I do wonder why?!?
I’ve had to question it on a regular basis to try and relax and settle myself and I know what my reasons are… having suffered with sleep issues for months I had just got so used to not sleeping… I would dread bedtime.. walking into the bedroom and all I could think about was whether I would sleep or not… I got obsessed with good sleep hygiene and would have this ritual I did before I went to bed in order to sleep..(or try to) I did everything I should do and I took the advise of my cbt therapist… didn’t look at the time… wait 20 mins and get up and go into a different room and read…keep getting up and repeating this process…. naming something for every letter in the alphabet…. I was tired of it all not to mention physically tired.
I felt like looking after Archie was the biggest job in the world… everyday was like having a really important day at work.. you know how you often wouldn’t sleep before a presentation or exam… this is what it was like for me… I would worry if I didn’t get enough sleep and then put pressure on myself to go to sleep…. and then lay there staring at the ceiling! I was soooo FRUSTRATED.
I had to learn how to control it… so I started digging… I think your body gets used to waking up and then it’s so hard to sleep once they start sleeping… you constantly wake up… I delved deep into my brain and started questioning why?
Why did I feel it was so important to have sleep? I’ve been surviving on little sleep and have been fine what was going to happen?
I thought it was because if I didn’t sleep I wouldn’t get time to nap, and when I was tired I wouldn’t care for Archie aswell as I should, or I would make silly mistakes or infact lose my patience with him and get cross easy.. when In actual fact he was always fine I always took care of him the only bad thing that would happen is I would be tired… ok I couldn’t have a day off in bed to catch up but I would be ok…. I had been ok in the past… it was only when I started telling myself this I started to feel a bit better…. don’t get me wrong even now I worry about not sleeping and still have some nights where I don’t sleep well.. but I have to remember it’s only temporary and accept that once you have had a baby… you will never sleep the same again…
If this sounds familar… just be kind to yourself and have confidence in the fact that no matter what happens you will be a good mum and will always make the right decision for your baby.. because it’s in you naturally and tired or not your still the best to them…
‘Every day may not be good… but there is always something good in a day’ 😘❤️