So there I was getting showered in complete shock as to what has just happened, not only did the bathroom look like someone was just murdered my tummy was soft and empty.. I could bend over and touch my toes.. oh my how things change in a second!
I wheeled my little Archie up to the maternity still feeling incredibly proud that I had actually done it, and that myself and my husband had actually created this little person. And I did not want to leave him for a second.
Nick went home to grab some things and I was meant to be sleeping as hadn’t slept for two days… could I sleep…? No…. I just kept staring at the little person who finally had a face and it wasn’t how I had imagined.. did I feel this overwhelming love at first site for him… in all honesty no.. what was wrong with me? I loved him but I didn’t have the moment everyone talks about, I was shitting myself quite literally that it was on us now to care for this little ones every need.
He made a funny noise and a panicked…. he was choking and going blue round his lips… SHIT.. what do I do…. move quick off the bed and pick him up (then remembered I had stitches) OUCH.. still trying to figure out what to do, rang the nurses bell…. no-one was coming… patting him on the back quickly hoping nick would be back soon and in he came to help. And I cried… how did I not know what to do? Where was my motherly instinct?
But it was not a worry as it was just mucus and it’s common in babies in a vaginal delivery we just needed to turn baby away from us and rub his back to relieve it and he will cough it up… a nurse informed us….(this was after it happened again this time worse and his lips were well and truly blue..he was not breathing… so my husband frantically shouted someone to help.. and in she came)…. She spoke to us like we were meant to know this….and moaned that she was meant to be talking to mums about feeding.
Well we didn’t… our anti-natal didn’t mention this…so how would we know… should we of you tubed or googled…
Man I need a first aid course!
And there it was the anxiety trigger….bugger
Nurse – 1 and officially the crappiest new parents in the world – 0